What I Want Families to Know Before the Holidays
Last week I attended a presentation about being intentional in networking and showing up with curiosity, generosity, and true interest in others. The speaker emphasized something that really stayed with me:
Great relationships are built on giving more, listening more, and asking how we can help.
That made perfect sense because authentic connection has never been about having the most polished introduction or collecting the most business cards. It is about the Know, Like, Trust approach, which comes from showing up consistently, learning what others need, and offering real support without expecting anything in return.
As we move into the Thanksgiving season, a time focused on gratitude, reflection, and family, I found myself thinking about how this same approach matters just as much in caregiving.
Why Thanksgiving Often Reveals Caregiving Stress
The holidays bring families together, sometimes for the first time in months. This is often when adult children begin noticing changes in an aging parent.
Some common signs include:
Bills, mail, or medications stacking up
Memory gaps or confusion
Decline in mobility or self care
Change in home upkeep or routine
A sibling who seems exhausted or worn down
In almost every family I have worked with, and in my own personal experience, one sibling naturally steps into the role of primary caregiver.
This happens for many reasons including proximity, personality, availability, capability, confidence, or simply because they stepped in first.
Sometimes it works smoothly. Other times, the role becomes heavier than anyone expected.
The primary caregiver may feel:
Alone or overwhelmed
Tired or resentful
Annoyed by having to ask for help
Guilty for their own feelings
Unappreciated or misunderstood
Meanwhile the rest of the family may feel:
Unsure how to help
Guilty for not doing more
Unaware of the actual workload
And here is something caregivers tell me again and again:
Caregiving often feels like on the job training with no instruction manual.
A Free Tool You Can Use and Share
To help families prevent stress from turning into conflict, I created a practical resource called:
The Sharing the Load Guidebook and Worksheets
This resource helps families:
✔ Begin open and healthy conversations
✔ Agree on roles and responsibilities
✔ Reduce resentment and remove assumptions
✔ Support the caregiver rather than exhaust them
✔ Work as a team based on strengths and availability
✔ Feel less like they are figuring everything out alone
It is useful for families who are just beginning to notice changes and for those already supporting a parent.
Download the Guidebook & Worksheets⬇️⬇️⬇️
Sharing the Load Guidebook
Caregiver Task Inventory Worksheet
Caregiver Boundary Setting Worksheet
Please download, bookmark, or save it so it is available if you need it over the holidays.
It is also a wonderful resource to share with clients, colleagues, employees, friends, or family members who may be quietly carrying the caregiving weight.
A Final Thought
Whether in professional networking or family caregiving, one principle remains true:
Give more. Listen more. Show up with kindness.
Wishing you a meaningful and supportive holiday season,
Laurie Miller